Are you exhausted from trying to figure it all out? Who you are? What your supposed to do? Why you don’t fit in? Wondering if you offended anyone? Worried how your unpopular decisions would impact your life? Weary that the words you used to explain yourself were even heard? Guess what? ME TOO!
I paid attention to…
Everything that I could see, feel, and touch. I became obsessed with my looks and physical abilities. I spent hours trying to look like those I saw being accepted for who they are. I acted like them, dressed like them, and tried to look like them………and I was exhausted BUT, I kept on going. I was ACCEPTED by what I presented on the OUTSIDE, but on the INSIDE I was navigating a high waves on a sea trying to balance the inner voice forcing me to mentally conform and the unexpressed emotions I stored inside. A tsunami was pending and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The question was who would be around to witness it and would I be able to survive the impact. This was my reality for a large majority of my life…..
I began the most amazing adventure unraveling the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional parts of me. I asked myself all the questions I wanted the deep answers too. Why did I dream so vividly? Why did I dream in color? Why could I remember every dream without writing it down? Why are my hips so tight? Why do I always seem to experience extreme pain on my right side? How do I feel lighter? Why did I always have an anxious and heavy feeling on my body roughly 3 days prior to actual incident being revealed to me? Why did I feel betrayed each time I felt people didn’t believe me when I told them a certain situation turned out exactly how I predicted?
These questions and many more plagued me for most of my life. Worse yet, I couldn’t talk anybody about it because I grew up during a time when emotions were discussed and therapy meant you are getting committed to a psych ward. So I suffered in silence for years until I couldn’t do it anymore.
I paid a price….
I was 36 years old when I was shaken awake from the nightmare unfolding around me. I just finished speaking with a specialist I had visited a few days before for an unexpected emergency in-office surgery. My doctor was perplexed and informed me that he sent my biopsies to 2 medial facilities, Boston and Burlington, because it didn’t make sense that someone my age could be pre-disposed to 4 different types of cancers at my age.
At that moment I realized that if I needed to clean up my life in a BIG way or I was seeing the end of my life a lot earlier than I ever intended.
And in that moment I knew it was time to focus on the one RELATIONSHIP I’d been neglecting this whole time……The relationship I have with myself.
The journey into the deconstruction of every aspect of my being began.
My gift to you…
Stress impacts each of us differently and if its not managed it will profoundly impact you. Have you ever been stopped or shut down completely by your body? Ever suddenly wake up and be so intensely ill but don’t know why? Ever get a rash or uncomfortable feel in your stomach from food you’ve eaten before and have no idea why? Ever have the same dream or nightmare over and over again but don’t know what it means or why?
#MeToo The root of all the challenges I’ve experienced in life stemmed from the mere fact that I did not know my enough. I’m an intuitive who was self-taught in her craft. I followed my gut which never guided me wrong but I could never explain to anyone how I know the result. Because I’m not a planner; I’m a feeler and I instinctively followed the signs and signals my body and inner soul were sending to me. So I did what a lot of people talk about. I DUG DEEP into every aspect of myself and focused on understanding, accepting, and building an intensely intimate relationship with ALL of me. And now I want to help you do the same.
My intention for this site is to provide useful and actionable information that you can use to facilitate your own self care. We are multi-layered beings yet too often we focus on what we present to others on the outside. But in order for any of us to be WHOLE we need to address ALL OF YOU.
So browse around and take a peek. Stay for as long as your like. Bookmark and share with other if you wish to do so. Most of all do whatever FEELS best for you.